Long time

Its a long time since I last wrote here and a lot has happened. Things are looking so much more positive and we are so much stronger as a result.
How is it possible to be both in our forties (though I keep trying to tell people I am at least 10 years younger than that lol) and to feel like teenagers when we make love, when we make out and when we play....

Is it because we have more knowledge now of what we dont want and how we treasure what we do have, that makes it so special? I dont really know, all I do know is that he makes me feel like no other man ever has, I crave him so much in so many ways. Yesterday I stood in my bedroom and he had his jeans on and his back was naked and all I could do was kiss and stroke his back, I am so incredibly in love with this man.

We are enjoying our moments together, whether its cooking, snuggling, walking or arguing with teens at home, we even do that well together. My only regret right now is to not have had a child with him. He is a fantastic Dad and we would have had a beautiful baby together, I cant help myself at the moment to find there are babies everywhere and they look sooooo cute but I am being sensible because that really is the last thing we would be need right now.....still I know my age and I know this is more than likely not going to happen and you know what we always want........the impossible....!!

For now I am incredibly blessed and feel very loved and love fiercely in return. I may even come back to write more smut..........that is if anybody would like to read it?

Love

His Angel
xxx

Christmas

I am getting a little excited. It will be the first time ever we will be having a Christmas day, it does even involve teens at my house and I am so very much looking forward to it. I have been assigned a job of chopping vegetables in the kitchen and generally helping out, does that mean I can wear something sexy and keep trying to entice him whilst he is cooking the Christmas dinner.....????

Merry Christmas my Love, I do love you so very very much and I truly hope you like your presents this year!!!!

Your Angel

xxx

Feelings

I have not written here for a long time but in the meantime so much has happened. I am very hopeful for the future but there are 2 things that are really worrying me. I want him to spend nights with me on a regular basis, as we can not share a house together for another while I am ok with that, although I dont like living on my own, I love being in a proper relationship with someone but we have to take it slow and I understand that. What I dont understand is why he will not spend any nights with me when there are occasions now that he can. How can he claim to love me as much as he does yet prefer to sleep alone when he has opportunities to be with me?

I still yearn so much to be included in his life and he will know what I mean by that, I dont want to give too many details away here but it does really hurt when I am still after so long being separated from the 2 people he loves the most. I know he says he has his reasons and I understand them a little but my heart is screaming to be taken out of the secret closet. I am trying to be patient and give him time but its getting harder and harder and I really dont want to give up on us. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, I just wish he would accept me into his life. To me this is not how a relationship is supposed to be. I have made calculated decisions on opening my life to him completely and it hurts that he will not do the same.....maybe I should have called the title patience but maybe I am just running out of that.

Hopefully a more sunny post next time but this was weighing heavy on my chest and I needed to get it off.........

Have a wonderful weekend everone.

Love

His Angel
xxx

My turn to...

Its my turn at the moment to look after my Sweet Love. He came over last night and I had made us some dinner. He is not looking after himself properly because he has so much on his plate. He was looking so shattered, his eyes all red and puffy. He also smoked in the day, I could tell and that alone tells me how stressed he is. I am frustrated because there is so little that I can do for him. So all I do is make sure he eats when he comes around here and create a warm welcome where he can just relax and have some peace with lots of cuddles and love and no demands.....

Its does put to me that there has to be a symbiosis, he often looks after me and does such a great job. Now its my turn. He needs my support, how ever small. I like that I can look after him a little bit. I am on my way now to get some ingredients for dinner again tonight and I find myself looking for things he will love eating.

I love you Hunny, so very much and it will get easier I promise you!!!

Your Angel
xxx

Doctor Fetish

Thinking about this subject. I dont have just any doctor fetish, my doctor fetish includes him, my Lover, my other half. As you have all read I have not been terribly well this week and he has been keeping an eye on me. Making sure I take all of the medication, nagging me about drinking and eating on time but for me one of those magical moments happened when I was sitting on his lap in my conservatory.

I was having a cuddle with him and he was quietly talking to me. He pinched the skin on my arm and my hand and declared I had not been drinking enough, its moments like that when I melt and I realise what a lucky girl I am to have him in my life. I have fantasies about him checking me over completely, I love his caring nature and the way his voice changes when he tells me to do something. He makes me do things I would normally say no to. He has the ability to make me quiver in the most delicious way. He says he has not even started yet, I cant wait. So many fantasies to tell him about and ask him about. I have seen the GP 3x times now over the last 2 weeks and its for certain, its only him that makes my heart beat faster.......every time.

I love you my Sweet.

Your Angel
xxx

Missing him

Its so lovely to hear his voice on the phone. He had a good day and that makes me really happy. We are missing each other but it wont be long. Come home soon my Love, in the meantime I am being a very good girl.....

Love

His Angel
xxx

One night

I know he is only gone for 2 days and one night but I am missing him. I have not been terribly well this week and I need extra cuddles. The thing is he needs downtime too. He does not often get times where he is together with the lads and do boy things. Stuff that us women roll our eyes at lol.....

As for tomorrow, I am hoping he will stay over, I am soooo hoping he will stay over. The invitation is there and I know its possible too. Will he or wont he....? All I want is for him to be here and say "Baby its bedtime, go and get ready", then snuggle together and sleep next to him. I love him so incrediby much. I know he is still holding out, still waiting for that right moment to come out and say to the world how important I am to him. I truly hope it wont be too long because its so hard to be hidden like this. I still dont think he understands how much I struggle with that.

He has made some massive changes and even he commented on how much better it makes things for our relationship. I love seeing his car from my kitchen window. I love hiding the key for him so he can let himself in to come and cuddle me in bed. When I was not feeling well, he cooked, cleaned up and then ran me a bath, undressed me, read a magazine to me, wrapped me in a towel and put me to bed, tucked me in and lovingly kissed me. Once he realised I did not want him to go he became more stern with me. Daddy is telling you, you need sleep more than anything. Be Daddy's good little girl please......

Night night Daddy, I hope you sleep well and please come stay round here tomorrow evening.

I love you

His Angel
xxx