Feelings

I have not written here for a long time but in the meantime so much has happened. I am very hopeful for the future but there are 2 things that are really worrying me. I want him to spend nights with me on a regular basis, as we can not share a house together for another while I am ok with that, although I dont like living on my own, I love being in a proper relationship with someone but we have to take it slow and I understand that. What I dont understand is why he will not spend any nights with me when there are occasions now that he can. How can he claim to love me as much as he does yet prefer to sleep alone when he has opportunities to be with me?

I still yearn so much to be included in his life and he will know what I mean by that, I dont want to give too many details away here but it does really hurt when I am still after so long being separated from the 2 people he loves the most. I know he says he has his reasons and I understand them a little but my heart is screaming to be taken out of the secret closet. I am trying to be patient and give him time but its getting harder and harder and I really dont want to give up on us. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, I just wish he would accept me into his life. To me this is not how a relationship is supposed to be. I have made calculated decisions on opening my life to him completely and it hurts that he will not do the same.....maybe I should have called the title patience but maybe I am just running out of that.

Hopefully a more sunny post next time but this was weighing heavy on my chest and I needed to get it off.........

Have a wonderful weekend everone.

Love

His Angel
xxx